TLMA and pointyears Present:
by TwilightLoverMangaAddict
Summary: Randomness made up by myself and one of my best friends. Not exclusively Star Trek and Twilight. May include Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Psych, and other subjects. Crack fic.
1. StarTrek HP Twilight Spidey 'n Buffy wow

A/N HEY EVERYBODY IN FANFICTION WORLD!!! I was chatting randomly with one of my bestest buds and I chat-screamed "STAR TREK AND/OR HARRY POTTER FANFICTION TIME!!!" and we started typing this. Originally, it was just going to be star trek, and then she mentioned Spider man and so I had to mention Harry Potter and then I mentioned twilight and it's funny.

WARNING!!! This makes fun of Twilight, Harry Potter, Spiderman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Star Trek. This was just a random story that we made up. We don't mean to offend anyone with anything we say in the randomness.

We do not own Twilight, Harry Potter, Spiderman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Star Trek

Spock: Captain, get off of my lap.

Kirk: But I don't WANT to....

Spock: Okay fine. *Makes out with Kirk*

Uhura: * shows up* SPOCK!!! * runs out of room*

Spock: That's right betch, you run away! *snaps fingers *

Kirk: GASP!!! You aren't SPOCK!!!

Spock: *pulls off mask * I'M REALLY SPIDERMAN IN DISGUISE. DA NA NAAAAAAN

Kirk: AND I'M REALLY GINNY WEASLY IN DISGUISE!!! * pulls off mask*

Spiderman: LET'S MAKE SPIDER-BABIES TOGETHER

Ginny: WAIT!!! I

I'm REALLY A Vampire BELLA in disguise as Ginny As KIRK!!! * pulls off mask*

Spiderman: I'M REALLY.... *pulls off mask * BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.

Bella: AHHHHH!!!! * runs away*

Buffy: *runs after her laughing maniacally *

THE END

or is it?

Bella: Edward!!!!!!!

* metal ripping*

Edward: *snogging Emmett *

Bella * dead*

Buffy: BWAHAHAHA!!!

Buffy: * fire*

Edward: I think I'm a little gay.

Jasper: I am a vampire! fear my awesome sparklyness!

Alice: YOU STOLE MY BODY GLITTER!!! YOU WILL PAY!!!!

Edward: Weren't you a werewolf?

Jasper: No.... Thats the mutt, Jacob.

Edward: Oh. *goes back to snogging whatshisname *

Jacob: * looks up from food* Huh? * goes back to eating*

A/N Like I said, complete randomness.


	2. Oh, dear god

A/N: ...I have nothing to say about this. This is like crack mixed with acid. Read at your own risk. Contents may be flammable.

That was one of my friends speaking. We wrote this together. It all started when she bought me an Edward Ken doll and undressed it as a joke, only to find it had a sparkly crotch. That brought this mess on. Like she said, read at your own risk.

* * *

One day, Jacob decided that in order to win over Bella, he should dump massive amounts of glitter onto his groin.

By some strange miracle, it worked. Now, this was in the middle of Eclipse, and Bella knew that if she just left Edward it would ruin the story line Stephenie Meyer had worked so very hard to write, so instead, she would have weekly "hunting" trips to Jacobs house in secret.

When she went for the second "hunting" trip, she was astonished and angered to find Mr. Spock and Jacob making out underneath the bed.

In a rage, Bella actually started hunting, and killed Jacob, Billy, Sam and all other humans and shape-shifters in the area. When she finally bit and started drinking the blood of Mr. Spock, she realized that our favorite half-Vulcan's blood was a poison to vampires, just like it was to the gaseous creature who ate red blood cells in episode 46.

Then Edward leapt through the window and began crying because A)He secretly loved Spock and B)He realized that Spock was cheating on him with Jacob.

Then Renesmee burst into the room. She was only five, but looked about fifteen and Edward had forbidden her from seeing Jacob, but she had secretly been having affairs with both Jacob and Spock.

Then she beat Bella over the head with a trout and kicked her inna head.

Edward finally noticed that Bella was dying and brushed it off with a quiet, "oh." The rest of the family rushed past the border, where Alice, Carlisle, and Emmett were promptly killed for breaking the territorial treaty. Jasper, Esme, and Rosalie made it to the Blacks' house, where Jasper saw Bella, his one and only TRUE love dying on the floor and smelled Spock's blood, going on a feeding rampage. Rosalie and Esme were in tears when they saw Spock being "killed" because they too were in love with him.

Kirk appeared with a machine-gun style phaser and promptly shot Jacob in the face several times for stealing his one-and-only man, Spock. Then he saw Spock dead on the floor, shrugged, and began hitting on Rosalie.

Rosalie grinned, hopping on the motorbike Kirk was riding on, screamed, "So long, suckers!" and drove off into the sunset. Since not ALL of the Cullens and wolves were killed, Edward and Esme summed it up to a pretty good day, before immediately getting it on, right among all the corpses in Jacob's room.

Spock's soul cringed.

The End.

A/N

Yeah.


End file.
